16/11/2011
What are the dead giveaways that let everybody know you're a teacher? Is it the unhealthy obsession with stationery or the urge to laminate absolutely everything...

In the TES forums a contributor called robyn 147 started a fascinating discussion about the tell-tale clues that help you spot a teacher.  Watch out for the following traits in your behaviour...

Collecting pointless tat and rubbish such as cardboard tubes and hoarding them for years as pupils may one day make a sword, light sabre, musical instrument out of them. Of course you never use them!
Megsie

Huge bags under my eyes, excessive alcohol consumption and an aversion to children.
Curlygirly

About the only thing that might give me away as a teacher is I always have at least one pen on me...usually two...
Captain Obvious

Holidaying in Brittany?
Smirking when a parent is struggling to control their offspring in public.
Inability to complete a sentence without school references if they meet another teacher whilst on holiday.
Pockets full of whiteboard markers
Magic surf bus

Typical teacher? Dirty house (apart from holidays, when house briefly dusted and hoovered and filled with candles to disguise dank, mouldy smell) and badly behaved kids in tow.
Walnuthead

A handbag full of assorted stationery that no other person would carry around with them.
Happy monkey

Constantly looking at bits and bobs in shops when I'm away for the weekend or a holiday, wondering if I could use them in my classroom.
The ability to be an exhausted shell one minute and break into song and dance the next, because someone else wants help and attention, be it child or adult, in or out of school.
Jools1808

I have to say that I'm a "typical" teacher - I have the teacher glare which I use at every opportunity if someone bumps into me or generally annoys me out and about.
Nwyllie

I find myself standing behind people in queues checking their hair for nits (visually obviously, I don't rummage around).
I do not dress for style, I dress for every eventuality (hot office to freezing playground). I always have three sets of shoes (smart, comfortable, PE) and a thin cardigan, a thick cardigan, a fleece and a waterproof jacket.
LaureRichis

I always have a pen behind my ear, sometimes one behind each ear; as I discovered as I boarded the rollercoaster at Alton Towers with my son last week.
My home is a complete mess throughout term time, and I spend most of half term cleaning or putting stuff away.
Eirae

I have a lot of bruises at the height of child sized tables.
Clear_air

Getting half way round the supermarket before you realise you're still wearing the homemade 'star of the week' badge a child gave you that morning, your whistle from break duty is still round your neck and you've got blue paint on your white linen pants.
Naomi58

Bottles of hand sanitiser in every handbag and drawer - I don't even want to think of where countless teenage hands were before they handed their books to me!
Fierygirl

When you're out with a group of friends and you constantly check you still have everyone together and does anyone need the toilet before we go!
Flickaz

Telling pupils to tuck their shirts in - While in the supermarket.
Cavadias

Coffee breath!
Lawyer1

Giving a running commentary whenever you do anything e.g. moving someone's stuff to sit down, on the basis that those around must be paying attention.
Bruce_home

I think it's the glitter stuck to my face no matter how hard I scrub it that gives me away...
Saraeldred

Referring to anything before September as 'last year', and likewise anything after August as 'next year'.
Clairedwyer

Refusing on grounds of principle to abbreviate text messages - writing the words in full, with capitals and punctuation if time allows.
Magic surf bus

It's when visitors come for a meal, ring your doorbell, and you open it and say, "Come in and sit down quietly".
Fergieruth

During term time, constantly having a blackened little finger from the whiteboard. I can always tell when it's summer because during the break it's the only time the ingrained blackness is absent,
Mrs shaq

When you get up to leave a restaurant/eaterie and push all the chairs in as you leave!
Sashaill50

Let us know what traits mark you out as a teacher. Leave your comments below.

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Comments

Wow that is scary. Have only been teaching for six months and already I found myself looking through the comments and agreeing with many of them. How about when you are with your group of friends or even family and you start instructing them on how things are going to go. "Okay, this is what we are going to do...."
From: JoseG81 22/4/2012
As an NQT English teacher, for me, you know you're a teacher when you correct someone's use of spelling/punctuation/grammar regardless of amount of alcohol comsumed and are constantly asked by family members how to spell a certain word!
From: djcrofty 22/4/2012
You know you're a teacher (especially one of PE) when you feel the need to give feedback on something that someone has done, regardless of whether or not they asked for any.
From: fbiggs 23/4/2012

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